I realize there has been a deafening silence here in light of my absence. From active updates to months of complete nothingness. That was never my intention, but I have been so exhausted these past months I haven’t known what to do (and even if I did I doubt I’d have the energy to go through with it.) There’s been SO MANY THINGS HAPPENING in my life the past 6 months, and I’ve been in a constantly downward spiral the entire time. There was an is a lot of uncertainty and instability in my life in more ways than one. Today, however, most of that doesn’t matter. Why, you ask? Because right now I fear for my life.
A few weeks ago my country “finally” had its first case of Covid-19, or the Corona Virus, and since then it’s only been escalating. It feels like “everyone” is infected, and for a little over a week I have been terrified to step outside for any reason. The grocery store has been scary, public transit has been scary, and even being within 5 feet of anyone has been completely terrifying. I have walked distances my frail body can’t handle and every joint and muscle is aching. That’s how scared I’ve been recently, and it’s not about to change anytime soon.
You see, I might only be 22 years of age and most people my age are healthy, and thus “shouldn’t” worry, but unfortunately I am not healthy. Every 6 weeks I receive immunocompromising medication at the hospital. Two weeks ago I cancelled my appointment, as I was utterly mortified at the thought of lowering my immune system while Covid-19 was raging on everywhere around me. Despite normally being an overly rational person I couldn’t convince myself that avoiding my medication would actually make things worse. I finally went to my appointment today though, and managed to voice my fear to the nurse administering my meds. She reassured me and I was happy to get it done, but I wish I went two weeks ago when it would’ve been safer. The other patient in the room with me, also receiving her medication, started chatting with me and told me she had the exact same fears as I did. I bet most of us are a lot more on edge than usual in this situation as we are more at risk than average people, and I also feel like we aren’t getting enough information. Many of us are probably scared we will die from this, and as far as I can tell there isn’t a whole lot of reassuring information out there.
THE SAGA DYNASTY 